Monday, January 16, 2012

Sounds profound, but it's not.

Fighting with the troll, the sandwich begs to fly. 
Rasping with raspberries, peanut butter it does dry.

Never taunt the beggar, walk away from the sand
Jumping with the mad lib, carry on, with the band.

Don't ask to free the merry, clomp clowns for their life
Help the child with boogers free, have two buckets of strife.

From West comes the carpet bag. South the fur trade's son
All I ask to be for true fox, go now, my frock with guns.

Actually, they're not. I wanted attentions from mammoths.

My phone does ring, and no one's there, In my nose, I have stray hairs.
For once I want two cents from you, two cents, from you and chairs.


  1. Normally I would make fun of you, but this time this poem had rhyme (that was a freebie; you can use that if you pay me royalties).

    I can't say anything good about the content, except that it rhymes, so that makes it the best poem you've done.


  2. So, El Oso.

    Give me the parameters of an A+ poem and I'll see what I can do to satiate your criticism.

  3. We've been over this plenty of times, Gofrequeso.

    But I guess you have the retention of a small flightless extinct bird, so let's try this again:

    1. The poem rhymes
    2. The poem *rhymes* (Important)
    3. The poem is good (Also important)
    4. The poem does't make you stupider for reading it
    5. It appeals to Osean sensibilities (Important)
    6. It makes you feel good inside (Super Important)

    As you can see, the requirements aren't extremely exacting. It's just that your poetry doesn't strike me as a composition in verse, especially one that is characterized by a highly developed artistic form and by the use of heightened language and rhythm to express an intensely imaginative interpretation of the subject.

    Mostly, I want to scrub out my brain and stab out my eyes most of the time, because it hurts me.

    I know that Bob Marley once said, "When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.", but I think maybe you should stay off the drugs when you write your poetry, and it would be better.

    A clean lifestyle and a clean mind will improve your poetry most, as I fear for you and you idolatrous pagantrical godlessness puts you on a dark path.

    Excellence can be obtained if you: more than others think is wise;
    ...risk more than others think is safe;
    ...dream more than others think is practical;
    ...expect more than others think is possible.

    With the caveat, of course, that I always reserve the right to define whether or not what you do is, in fact, excellent, so the above, really, is subject to my interpretation and judgement, rather than any internal factor from you.

    I leave you with this final thought: All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth. Any my interpretations are always right.

    A++ to me

    Love (to me, not to you, because I love myself and feel primarily ambivalent towards you),
    El Oso

  4. I'll keep you posted.

    So, I guess the parameters are to write a bear poem that rhymes.