Monday, May 30, 2011

Pizza is delicious.

I ordered a pizza today,
I thought it was quite yummy,
So yummy in fact,
I bought another for my tummy

The second one's gone,
It is quite delish,
I think I'll get a third,
And put in on my dish

The third one is just as great
It is all over my face.
Perhaps four isn't enough,
I'll buy my own pizza place.

I eat every pizza that comes,
I have made no money.
Until a TV guy came in
And thought the sight was quite funny

He gave me millions of dollars
To show how I can eat.
Man v Food guy,
Every time, you, I will beat.

Turns out I put crack in my pizza
And it's really not that good.
I'm addicted to my topping,
Now I'm skinny, like I should.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


I thought I was shocking,
I thought I was mean.
I thought my poetry was provoking,
Funny, in a way, it seemed,

However I came across something
More vile and gross
Kinda made throw up
In a sick pile of Glucose.

A new movie came out,
With Antonio Banderas
It's not about care bears
Its much, much more crass.


Monday, May 16, 2011

The internet

There are lots of things on the internet
Like jokes, and scores, and corn

Don't dabble to much on the internet
You'll find bad stuff, like generic sunglasses.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


I got this bowl of goo today
I didn't know what it was.
I tried to replicate the recipe,
To make this bowl of scuzz.

I tried lots of combinations
The recipe I now know
Blend two parts baby giraffe
And 1 part small Disney elephant.

THAT (funny?) guy.

Every knows that guy
Who tries to be funny
He tries to tell jokes all day
While we are playing Rummy

None of us laugh,
It's really uncomfortable
He doesn't seem to get it
He needs to shut up with no trouble.

He seems to get it now
but still goes on trying.
It's getting to the 'sad' stage now
He's a loser, I'm not lying.

I like to think of myself,
The guy that knows when to stop.
Otherwise, it gets uncomfortable,
...... I'll just stop now. I can't think of a good punchline.

Post-it notes

Post-it notes are handy.
I write a lot of stuff on them
To remind me what I need to do, to learn, to implement, to study.

Post-it notes are colorful
So many personalities
They are funny, sticky, happy, and useful.

Post-it notes are tasty.
I put them in my tiramisu.
I saw that word on the Food network, thought I'd use it in a poem.

Watching TV

I watched TV for an hour today,
Not sure what I saw.
I think I laughed a couple of times
Saw a commercial for a bra.

The rest is all a blur for me
It's now a quarter to 10.
Not much brain activity goes on
Watching Two and a Half Men.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


I just had a birthday,
I turned one-hundred and eight.
I blew out a 12th of the candles,
A morsel of of cake, I ate.

How many more of these birthdays
Am I going to have already!
I'm one-hundred and EIGHT for sure
I've wanted to go since Eighty!