Double Haiku

If you want to listen to my trumpet

Stand up and blow in it- because that is how you make sound

Dang. People are running and dying now.

Haiku #17

Do you like rap songs?
I did once, but then I found
Presents needed wrap.

Haiku #16

Ever want a wife?
But you are fat and smelly?
Too bad I got her!

Haiku #15

Hooray for Swingsets
They are really fun to me
Except I'm 30.

Haiku #14

You know what I like?
Ice cream with spinach and nails
On second thought-------gross.

Haiku #13

Snuffleupagus
Irresponsibility
Cannibalism

Haiku #12

I lack a journal
Dunno why I'd have one, though
No one reads them, duh

Haiku #10

Great minds think alike
Stupid minds also do, though
Don't party with bears.

Haiku #8 and 9?

I always wear fur
It makes Hippies really mad
Also, it is warm.

Animals know it
They have the best things to wear
Also they taste good.

Haiku #7

Why do I like cheese?
It makes me gain lots of weight
Because I can't poo.

Haiku #6

Why do you smell good?
Is it because you shower?
Oh, that's someone else.

Haiku #5

I use nail clippers
For getting rid of nail excess
Hammers bang them in

Haiku #4

I drink water lots

I drank a gallon one day

It made me pee clear.

Haiku #3

Please say no to drugs

They will harm you and kill you

Also, those are mine.

Haiku # 2

Holy crap that smells

Get it out of my bathroom

It is a dwarf poo.

Haiku #1

Don’t smack the grandma

She will throw sticks at your face

But she has no arms.